Surrounded by two computers and a messy desk

So, I'm posting on my blog basically because I wanted to leave a comment on Melinda's and I realized I hadn't written on here all year. Maybe when our baby is born I will use it to post pictures and stuff. Melinda asked if I was going to do that and I was thinking, yeah, I'll do it a few times and then I'll just forget about it.

Still like the title of my blog though. Still in therapy (like that's ever going to change).

No longer dealing with trying to get pregnant as you can (not) see, we ended up doing IUI and it worked on the first try. I think I was in shock that it worked the first time out. Jason doesn't really feel comfortable discussing the IUI, but I don't really care if people know. I just don't want to hear anyone's story about how they know someone who was trying and then a) started/finished the adoption process and just got pregnant b) tried for a long time and then stopped and got pregnant c) some other story that I really don't give a **** about. It's not your story, it's what you saw happen, these mysterious people have no bearing on my life and regardless of all that, infertility is like a minefield. It could be the woman, it could be the man, it could be both, it could be unexplainable; each of those situations require different treatments and procedures and just because pregnancy happened to someone you sort of know about doesn't mean that it will happen for us. It is not somehow uplifting or inspiring for you to tell me this "miracle story", it's pointless because by this point in the game people we've heard all the stories! We could really care less that it ended up happening somehow to someone you sort of know. Now if it was you personally that made it through this voyage then sure, go ahead and share. I know it feels good to be able to say "Hey, we did it and it worked", to say "It happened to us and it can happen to you" to sort of see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I would've appreciated someone telling us "Look, we were dealing with infertility as well and this is the good thing that happened".

Worst daughter EVER!

So today I was to wake up and be ready for my mom at 5am, Jason turned the alarm off and I woke up at 5:44, I ran to the front door where my mom had been beating at the door for 15 minutes. She woke up the neighbors, I feel so bad about that. Mom drove fast to the airport, I kept telling her to step on the gas and "GO!" Luckily Mom and Louise got to the airport about 6:40ish and right now I am checking SFO's website and it says that they are still boarding - hopefully everything worked out okay.

I have a therapy appointment today, just kind of thinking about what I'm going to talk about, I was thinking about my parent's divorce and realized that today is the date of their marriage. I think it kind of funny, as in odd funny, not ha ha funny, that they are both on vacation today. I wonder if that was intentional or not. Probably not in my mom's case, she's going on a cruise, but my dad planned a trip to Disneyland; either way I hope they both are having a good time.

I've got some of the day mapped out, therapy at 10am and then I've got to go to the teacher supply store and then to Target to get a gift card as an apology to my neighbors (this is the second time that they have been disturbed by my family trying to bang my door down). Jason will be home around 4:30 and then he said he had to check to see if he has an evening client, but he went last week so he should be free this week. Maybe I'll make dinner again, I do have mom's car so I could go buy anything I need. Speaking of mom's car, she wanted to know what I'd be doing with it and I said I had a doctor's appointment today and tomorrow and then she was all "Well (sigh), okay, I just don't want anything to happen to it." thanks, I'm going to be all paranoid now.

I've been cooking dinner!

So far I've cooked dinner twice this week. Today my whole meal was made from scratch; I made a Cherry Tomato Onion Tart because we had so many cherry tomatoes from our CSA box and udon noodles in a peanut sauce. Yes, I'm well aware that these two items don't go together, but they were both tasty and aside from the actual noodles I made everything! The only thing that went wrong was that I read the oven temp direction wrong, it was 200 but it was Celsisus and I forgot to convert it, oh well, it took a little longer and the tomatoes weren't quite as wrinkly as I was going for but the crust was cooked which is what I was mainly concerned with.

Love Jeopardy!

We've DVR'd a bunch of Jeopardy episodes and today we've watched 3 episodes. We're not that dorky; I haven't kept score today.

So lately I've been thinking

I've been thinking lately about my blog and using it as a platform for something bigger. I don't know why, maybe it's because I want to be (cue bright lights and snappy music) FAMOUS! Okay, not really. Besides, no one reads my blog and I kinda like it that way (no offense to those of you actually reading these infrequent missiles).

I thought about writing about my "journey" with depression, but I don't think anyone wants to read about that. I thought about posting different challenges for the day, but I don't know if I'll actually want to complete any of them. You say, but just pick something you want to do! But what I want to do and what I end up doing are often two completely different things. I thought about writing about wanting a baby, but at the moment it's still out of our hands, well it's always out of our hands and into God's, but until we find out what's going on there's no point in hypothesizing, we're just going to wait and go to our appointment and then go from there.

Hedo, Hedo

Hedo, hedo is one of Jason's favorite sayings. Basically instead of using the l's in hello he puts in a d, it's funny and now I say it too.

Not feeling well today. Went to church, we had a potluck, I brought chips and had one of the older girls go to Little Ceasar's and get a pizza. She was already going so I thought she could pick up an extra one. I like potlucks, sometimes the food can be weird, but this time it was really basic. Pizza, cookies, deviled eggs (did you know the last hymn in our hymnal is #666?), cold cuts, cheese and crackers, you get the idea.

I always find it interesting what other people bring. I wasn't sure where the potluck was going to be so I didn't want to bring something that had to be kept cold or hot. I think one of the weirder things about today's potluck was that someone brought 4 strawberries, 4 chicken strips and like 6 potato wedges, that just struck me as strange.

What I don't like is when people want you to sign up to bring something. It's like, I'll bring what I'll bring, I don't want to be tied down for something as informal as a potluck. When I say this my mom always tells this story about how she once went to a lunch potluck with like 20 other women and they all brought potato salad. The moral of that story is that you need a list, but it's also interesting to note that all the potato salads were different. Personally if I was there I'd have brought something different, I don't like potato salad.

Hobbies - Part Two

So Monday at our Girl Scout meeting we were talking about Hobbies; as I've mentioned before I have lots of different hobbies that I pursue, anyways I asked the girls to list collecting hobbies, then sports hobbies (E said croquet!), and then making hobbies. During the last list A pipes up with, "Oh man, I'm doing food!" Her first one was cakes so I said baking was a hobby, her second was meatballs (okay, ethnic cusine, cooking that's a hobby) but the third was hot dogs! Couldn't help her there!